Staying True to Your Sobriety While Married or Dating

Staying True to Your Sobriety While Married or Dating

Published September 2018

Whether you are working on getting sober or have been in recovery for a while, it’s important to stick to healthy dating and relationship practices that reinforce positive lifestyle habits, so you do not relapse or return to abusing drugs and alcohol. At Passages Addiction Treatment Centers, we have put together this helpful guide that will give you tips and tools you need to feel more confident in anything that may come your way in your relationship.

First, let’s discuss how you should open up about your sobriety on the first date. Maybe you don’t know this person well and you’re exploring the possibilities of a new relationship. The best rule of thumb is to always be upfront and honest with anything and everything in life so when it comes to discussing your sobriety on the first date, have no fear. You are a strong individual who is willing to put him/herself out there in this weird world of dating culture we live in. Tell the person you are going out with either before the date or after you order beverages prior to the meal that you do not drink.

Do not feel as though you need to go into any elaborate detail regarding your past or why you’ve decided to get sober (if you do not feel comfortable doing so)– just point out to them that you made this decision and its important to your livelihood and quality of life that you stick to it. If the person makes a snarky remark or is rude about it, just leave if you have to. Hopefully, they will show support and admire your willingness and courage to make smart choices and live a healthy and stable lifestyle without tempting you into disregarding your core values and throw away everything you’ve worked for thus far.

Whatever you do, do not let the other person make you feel trapped into making a decision you will ultimately regret. Remember, this is your life and you have to put yourself and your sobriety first. If they do not support your choices, there are plenty of other people in this world that will.

As for those who are already in a deeply committed relationship and experiences an uproar such as an argument, financial stress, job loss, cheating allegations, or disruption due to either partner having to relocate or move for any reason at all– here are several tips to help you stay aligned and centered without getting off track in your recovery.

1. 15-20 MINUTES OF DAILY MEDITATION
2. A HEALTHY DIET
3. TIME ALONE WITH A BOOK
4. SELF-CARE ROUTINE AND PROPER HYGIENE
5. TALK TO A FRIEND OR FAMILY MEMBER WHO SHARES A COMMON INTEREST AND SUPPORTS YOUR SOBRIETY WHO WILL LISTEN TO YOU AND OFFER SUPPORT
6. 1.5 HOUR OF EXERCISE YOU FIND MOST ENJOYABLE (HIKE, LIGHT WALK, GYM, LIFTING, YOGA, SWIMMING, KICK-BOXING, CROSSFIT, TENNIS)
7. SIT DOWN AND TALK TO YOUR PARTNER ABOUT YOUR FRUSTRATIONS CURRENTLY CAUSING CONFLICT IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP AND TRY YOUR BEST TO AGREE ON CREATING A PLAN TO RESOLVE THE STRESS AND TENSION AND STICK TO IT. BE REASONABLE WITH ONE ANOTHER AND LISTEN INTENTLY.
8. SIT OUTSIDE WITH A CUP OF CAMOMILE TEA AND BE ALONE WITH YOUR THOUGHTS WHILE DOING BREATHWORK TO HELP CALM DOWN AND RELIEVE ANY STRESS OR ANXIETY INTOXICATING YOUR BODY (DEEP BREATHS FOR 10-20 MINUTES)
9. STAY FAR AWAY FROM ANYONE WHO ENABLES YOU OR OFTEN TRIGGERS YOUR DESIRE TO USE DRUGS AND ALCOHOL — CREATE HARD BOUNDARIES FROM THESE PEOPLE ARE THEY ARE EXTREMELY TOXIC AND HARMFUL TO THE POSITIVE ENERGY YOU ARE TRYING YOUR BEST TO MAINTAIN
10. REFLECT ON THE WAY SOMEONE OR A CERTAIN SITUATION MAKES YOU FEEL SO THAT YOU CAN REMAIN CENTERED AND UNHARMED BY HARSH WORDS, BEHAVIORS, AND UNRIGHT TREATMENT BROUGHT ON BY OTHER PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE MOVING FORWARD — STAY CONSTANTLY AWARE OF EVERYTHING YOU FEEL AND EVERYTHING AROUND YOU – THIS IS SELF-AWARENESS